All relationships are a work in progress. There is no perfect one, trust me but not too long ago, I had a conversation with a couple of male friends of mine and I got their insight about what makes a woman become their solid rock.
And why in their opinion, do partners stick around?
Reading time: 8mins 20s
What makes her tick ? What keeps her interested and why she finally decided to take her leave before foaming at the mouth?
Friend A puts it very well . He says that when a woman tells you about a bad habit, you jolly well stop . She told you once , she’ll tell you twice and when she has to talk about it for the umpteenth time, then you better watch out on what’s coming next. She’s building up the list of ” Why I shouldn’t stay .” He’s not wrong there haha.
She’ll get bored easily when you have nothing else to answer besides “anything” or “nothing” 99% of the time.
Friend B’s point of view is, a woman loves a man of interest . She loves a man who can hold a conversation with her or with her friends. A boring man can be a chore at some point. He can be a simple, sweet and quiet guy but he also can be an adult who can carry an intelligent conversation , a man of wit. A man who’s a leader and his confidence and conduct, impresses her.
Smart, independent and confident. A man who has a hobby besides the TV and his job. A man who listens and understands her complexities and speaks to her with kindness and respect.
A woman , loves a man who pampers her . Someone who has personality and humor. Nothing fancy. Just someone who shares his food, who puts the woman before himself , who isn’t a self centered brute.
You know , you can tell a lot by a man’s behavior and how he reacts to certain things. It’s as simple as placing an order at the restaurant, whether he’s considerate enough to think of you first in any aspect, whether it’s hot or cold at the movies or making sure you’re comfortable .
A woman loves a man who share similar things and who participates in her joy and happiness . A woman finds it disturbing when her man is simply a by-stander.
Argh, yea woman hate that.
So me and my buddies discussed about this. And I concur on what they had to say because it’s true.
Women get bored when you’re “uninteresting”, doesn’t link well with her friends, lazy , self-centered , arrogant , unhygienic (yes, a dirty man is a turn off) , doesn’t involve yourself in her happiness and someone who’s unreliable and who doesn’t step up.
Now, if you DO have all these bad traits and a man or woman has stuck by your side , it can only mean one of these 8 things.
1. He or she has given up on their happiness and just settled for whatever life they have now because it’s too much effort to create a better life. They have the “it’s too late” syndrome.
2. He/she has low self esteem and you’re basically bullying them.
3. He/she loves you unconditionally which either means they’re an Angel or they’re mentally not sound, it really depends hahaha.
4. He/ she has a bigger agenda that they’re plotting for.
5. He/she is cheating on you and they don’t really care cos someone else is making them happy elsewhere.
6. He/she want to stick around for your wealth, your sustainability and connections because you have been their guide/crutch through life that being without you, they will lose out a lot.
7. You’ve got children and you’re only sticking around for the kids. Which means that your happiness has been either compromised or transformed to your kids (which leaves your partner out of the happiness circle) and you solely live your life for your children. Awww…
Or most likely it falls in this last category which is..mainly for ladies out there.
8. They believe you can change and be the better man or woman they THINK you can be by the magic of their altruistic love.
Newsflash ladies, HE IS NOT GOING TO CHANGE FOR YOU.
Oh this isn’t a rant, it’s the blinding truth that partners who put up with bullshit always think that someone’s going to change for them.
This is an age old issue that all women and some men , fall into. Women can never change a man if he doesn’t truly want to , by his means, with his own free-will and mature understanding. And a man can never change a stubborn egotist woman no matter what.
So ladies and lads, if you think you can do that, think again. If they don’t feel they need a change maybe because they’re lazy or feels real good about being like that, then you’re stuck buddy.
It’s either you take the package or leave it at some point because if you don’t , bigger problems will prop up .
If you’re married , it’s gonna affect your marriage , if you’re dating then eventually someone’s going to cheat on somebody and then you start bad mouthing your partner which isn’t really a nice thing to do.
Furthermore , when you do that, you’re open to scrutiny from everyone who knows you can do so much better. “Like why are you with this person?”
Yes. Let’s avoid all that and just come clean with each other. End it before it drags on forever and you’ve lost your youth to be able to enjoy whatever life you have left.
It’s going to hurt one way or another so might as well let the hurt start early before anything else major happens like marriage or kids.
Women have to stop this mentality that they can change a man. The best of couples is a relationship that’s respectful of each other and one that sees a steady progression of growth.
When couples grow together, their paths are lined side by side. So even if it’s personal growth, they’re doing it together, supporting each other through their journeys. When you find someone who complements you in this way, that’s a keeper.
The thing is, does this sort of partner even exist for some of us? And how long will it take to be blessed with someone like that?
Change the view of what you expect from your partner because you’re different people.
Also a fair warning men, … women tend to make decisions pretty fast once their minds are made up. If they had it up to here, prepare for a thunderstorm. It’ll mess you up and leave like a tornado.
Now if you’re the kind of partner who’s
giving, loving, affectionate, considerate, respectful, understanding, responsible, emotionally stable, financially sound, intelligent, funny, entertaining, involved and hardworking, someone who helps with chores in the house and have some form of initiative and proactiveness,
then the only reason your partner is with you and still are, is because you’re a true blessed gift from God.
A rare stone in the murky dark waters of volcanic ash at the end of a fiery stream. You both compliment each other very much,
If none of this is absolutely true, it just means that your tolerance levels for each other is extremely high. Where patience is a virtue and the sanctity of keeping the partnership together is something that’s valued and looked after. So you’re both still working very hard on it.
Now back to our main concern. Why does the bad partnerships happen then?
How is it that we keep attracting the wrong people ?
Have you ever wondered?
I was there. Wondering about this very question and when I found the answer, my whole life changed.
So did the kind of people I attracted.
The answer is, internal. Change You in order to change your circumstances.
Go ahead and ponder.