Ok so, this isn’t going to be a post about religion. I ain’t anywhere near qualified to advice regarding that matter but what I can offer you is my own personal experience and opinion, in hopes that it may help.
We all know the difficulties in preparing for a death if you’ve ever handled one. The funeral and mourning may be easier for us to manage compared to the aftermath of the death in most cases. And if you’ve never got the chance to handle one, learn from those who has experience. In the meantime, here’s some tips on how to prepare for your own demise.
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A. Prepare a Will or Divide Your Assets in an Official Document
If you are able to afford a lawyer because you have many assets around your belt, a will must be put in place. Organizing your assets is a humongous headache for everyone. It causes arguments, major family feuds and maybe even more.
Divide and conquer. Write to each party, that in the event of your demise, such and such will be divided amongst these people and you may include the reasons why, so that there will be no contest when you’re not around. People will have to respect your decision and based on your explanation, they will be able to take it in more calmly and accept it slowly but surely.
B. Purge your Belongings and Live Minimally
Do not leave a hoard of belongings and personal effects. From now on, purge. Go through your life’s belongings. See that you get rid of as much as possible. Your collections that are worth a million dollars can be put up as your asset and set aside. Anything that is absolutely unnecessary for a day to day normal life, you may get rid of. Tote bags from events, old worn out clothes, clothes you had in the 80’s that you’d like to keep as a keepsake but will never wear again, freebies you attained from hotels or free gifts from buying $100 worth of groceries, gifts from people that do nothing for your life, 8 tinfuls of fridge magnets that are unused, old school and work uniforms that you’ll never wear again, books that you don’t remember owning or read anymore, household items and appliances that are broken or dusty and you never use anymore, even your highschool textbooks that you know are very backdated, you can get rid of all of that.
Stop and refuse free gifts if you know you won’t use them. Give away clothes or items that others may need instead. If some things are too precious, transform or upcycle them. Like cut out old t-shirts that you’re dying to keep and sew it all together into a blanket, just to maintain this keepsake.
Donate stationery supplies to organizations, fix up things that you already have if you’d like to keep them.
Make your home, wardrobe , kitchen and storage as minimal as possible.
C. Organize your belongings
Why do you need to be organized?
It is crucial that when D-day comes, that you left your belongings in a state that’s easy to get rid of, donate or sent away. If you have been living your life in a very disorderly manner, your family, spouse and friends will have a tremendously hard time putting things in place.
Please care about those who you leave behind. It may seem like this is all terrible talk now but when the time comes, all hell will break loose.
I know, this is a touchy and horrible topic to discuss but it is something that I’ve been through before and I’m sure a million others have too and we don’t want you to leave behind a legacy that your loved ones would have to remember the dread for.
These people you leave behind, have to clean up your mess. Your life’s mess (debts, insurance, assets, property) and your personal mess (belongings and personal effects) that you’ve been hoarding. I had a mental breakdown once due to this.
Because if nobody helps you, no one else wants to take up this responsibility, you’re all alone, my friend. Seek help, seek counsel. It’s going to be so tough that you might even experience a mental meltdown.
If it’s already quite the task here in Singapore (the so-called “most organized” city in the World), I can’t imagine elsewhere. I do hope your country has a better more effortless way of doing things. Do share if your country’s system makes handling matters of the demise, easy and manageable even for a young 18 year old.
D.Prepare spiritually as much as possible.
Ok this is like the most I can give my opinion on, when it comes to religion.
We all come from different beliefs and backgrounds. If you believe that there is a Heaven and a Hell, then you got to saddle up. Feel a lacking somewhere? Step up to fill your time with deeds that are good and well worth for your after life. This will all be a balance sheet and it will determine where you’ll spend most of your afterlife.
If you feel the time is right for you to repent and mend your ways, go out there, seek those who you’ve wronged and make things right. Forgive and ask for forgiveness as well. Write down the list of people you’ve wronged (honestly speaking if you actually have a list, that’s scary) . Then best to change and not make anymore enemies from this point forward. You can’t control who you upset unknowingly but you can control who you purposely upset.
When it comes to you handling demise matters, officers from all governing bodies that are relevant and anxious family members will have no choice but to put the pressure on you and there’s nothing you can do about it until someone lends a hand. I’m the eldest, which means I had to figure it out on my own. So I hope you know how mentally disturbing funerals and asset dividing can be. There’s tons of paperwork to do and loads to submit and signatures to be gotten. You need to search for documents like marriage certs, birth certs, adoption certs and wills. You need to settle funds left in banks, look into government provident funds nominations, obtain storage facility keys, look for original IDs, previous or current home addresses, bank statements, pending loans and legal property ownership. You need to deal with insurance companies, hospital bills, any other bills left unpaid, employment details, police reports, guardianship of your children, trust funds and much much more.
When you’re already saddened and distraught by losing someone you love , you have to now take on the task and responsibilities that knock on your door unexpectedly. You’ve got to coordinate this orchestra of mayhem behind the scenes and the burden is not funny.
So always realize that death can be upon us at any given time and place, in whatever fashion. So be ready. Be responsible and concerned. Take care of your family from now on. Take care of yourself most importantly.
Get organized, live minimally and get your matters in order.
Hope this helps.