8 Valuable Things to Keep in Mind in Life

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1. If it feels wrong, don’t do it.

Your gut feeling is letting you know everything that could potentially be the disaster decision of your life. Trust your instincts. There’s a very minute chance that your gut feeling is wrong about something. Maybe 1% or even less than that.

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So how about the 99% of the time where your gut is always right. If you’re hesitant and feel doubtful, that’s your instincts talking to you from the inside. If you can feel that tingly feeling creeping up your arms and neck or that churn in your tummy, those are signs your system is letting you know to, “Put on your brakes right now.”

2. Say exactly what you mean

We don’t have the luxury of time to beat around the bush here. Wasting precious minutes and life times waiting for people to figure out what you actually mean cos you’re still pissed at them or sulking because of whatever matter that they can’t figure out. Help us help you, just say exactly what you mean. No one cares about what you don’t say, they only care about what you do say.

Time is of an essence and moping around and sulking till you’re 80 is not going to do anyone any good. You’re just accumulating poison in the form of cortisol and that’s bad for your skin and, your mental and physical health. That’s not a life to live.

You want things to get done? Just be frank on what actually needs to be done. People don’t know what you want unless you say EXACTLY what you want. They’re no psychic and you can’t blame them if they don’t know.

3. You can always say No

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Don’t be a Yes Man or a Pushover. It’s not a great look to have. It’s exhausting and will mentally choke you at times. Taking on things that you don’t want to or are obliged. If it’s not for work (cos you don’t want to lose your job over this), work it out somehow. Don’t just say yes cos you were forced to feel obliged cos he or she is a relative or family member or a friend. No means no and it’s ok. Be selfish for once. It’s ok. You have permission. Lots of people do it too so why not you.

4. Never make big decisions when you’re emotional

Even when I was deciding on divorce, I took extra time to weigh out possibilities and predicted scenarios of what I would have to face. Don’t just decide based on one bad night. The pros and cons for anything that you’re deciding on has to be thoroughly thought through.

When you let your emotions decide on a break up, or taking a job that may seem like the better path or even starting an affair just because you’re in desperate need for attention, the decision is compromised by this heightened level of happiness or extreme sadness or a burst of anger.

When you’re off the high that brought you this happiness or when we you wait a day after the storm and sleep on it, will your decision still be the best decision you’ve ever made? Look into the nearest future first and then the far future ahead before acting on impulse.

5. Don’t read too much into a text

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People don’t use phones the way that we used to anymore. Texting is the devil’s way of always making people misunderstand each other and starting a fight. How many arguments always start from a text that we assume is in a voice of anger or sarcasm? A lot right ?

We lose friends, we get into feuds with family members and we mess up appointments with potential prospects. One way to ease the tension is to insert emoticons, emojis or funny gifs. This can help with relating our emotion or expression to the receiver in hopes that our sentences would not be misconstrued as rude or distasteful. But if they still misunderstood you despite that, that’s just too bad. Move on.

When you are unsure about what you’re receiving in text, do a voice note or even better call them up and clear it out calmly and pleasantly. Be open and be neutral when people text you or when you’re texting. Don’t take it to heart if you feel slightly hurt or offended. Most of the time, it’s a lost in translation, that’s all. Take it easy.

6. Don’t make easy things complicated

This will make things easy for your life and the lives of the people around you. When deciding on simple things, be firm and be precise. Don’t know what to wear ? Work out a wardrobe system that will make this job easier. Don’t know which restaurant to go to? Figure out what you feel like eating and voice it out as a suggestion.

Nobody appreciates someone who’s not steady when working out simple things. When you’re tasked with something that you’re asked to do and it’s super simple to get done, do it fast and be done with it.

Don’t take your own sweet time to help mum bring in the laundry or assist your spouse with doing house work. It takes a lot of energy and frustration when you’re asked to help with something so simple and yet it takes you a thousand years to get it done. Don’t be that moron. If you’re the lazy type, just acknowledge the task and ask if you can do it an hour later or you may even ask if it’s urgent. This will help you organize your priorities and take away stress from someone you’re helping.

The only time that decisions aren’t that easy is if you need to decide on spending on a big ticket item. Don’t buy that bike or pet on impulse. There are no winners there.

Other than that, act on things that are simple to get done. Be a helpful and good partner or team player by taking up the task and executing it with minimal complaints. Even in arguments, if the fight is a simple as “That actor looks like Liam Neeson.” but you want to prove that the other person is wrong. Don’t go too far. Just Google it and show proof. No need to push it over the edge. This is how small tiffs end up becoming bigger fights. We just don’t know how to stop the nonsense.

7. Build an immunity for bitchy people

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There are so many people with a hot iron rod up their ass, walking around the planet polluting the earth with their toxic mouths and alien ways of doing things.

Have your ever wondered that about someone ? Like why do they even exist ? Why are they in our lives ? Why do they have to be in our department ? Why do we have to live with them ? Well for one, we need these humans to maybe teach us a lesson or two about ourselves and maintain the balance of good and evil. Haha. That’s the short version of why they exist.

Now, knowing we can’t control the level of their bitchiness and most probably these people have many personal issues and problems during adult development, we can only manage ourselves and build up an immunity towards “Assholism”. Besides this, some people have developed a way to get people to get things done by ruling with an iron fist. This method works for them though they end up always having to be seen as the bad guy. Maybe they’re just nicer outside of work context or when they’re with their personal friends. Some people form a persona when they’re in the family and whilst theyr’e with their regular friends or work mates.

So take what they say with a pitch of salt and act like the mean thing they say means absolutely nothing. Don’t react or cry. They thrive on pain they see in people cos they need company for their own pains. Hurt people, hurt people. Bear that in mind always when dealing with them. For those who have to camouflage themselves as the bad guy but deep down you just know they’re actually good people or have seen their soft side, don’t take kindness for weakness and give them the due respect. At the end of the day, you’ll be surprised how much respect they have for you to stand as tall and firm as they do. Maybe these are one of the qualities that they look for in a leader (someone who can play both bad guy and good guy roles) and you might just get pushed forward for a promotion, you never know.

8. Every good and bad experience is just an Experience

I know it hurts and you see the inevitable spiral down the rabbit hole of pain and anger. Well, it’s something that our souls just need to experience in order to gain a little wisdom for whatever reason.

There are more than meets the eye behind all our experiences and why we had to have them. Be it good or bad. Some people I’ve met don’t even use the term “good” or “bad”, they just call it an unpleasant or uplifting experience.

It’s easier said than done in some scenarios but you’ve got to build this resilience of overcoming your experiences.

Even when managing an insult or if someone offended you without them knowing it. Deal with it bruh. I mean, there’s a lot more where that came from so does that mean that life has to come to a standstill just because of that ? Take it in or throw it away and move on.

If I spent every moment trying to calm myself down from whatever someone said that hurt me, I’d be in a wheelchair in a mental asylum cos it’ll drive me nuts. Cos people most of the time don’t know that that comment does hurt or maybe they say something without much thought. I’m sure you’ve done this at some point in your life. Something you wished you hadn’t say or taken back.

Don’t assume what the person is saying is hurtful just because you don’t know where it’s coming from. Everyone makes mistakes too, be more forgiving and someone will be forgiving of you too in future.

All experiences be it good or bad, are just experiences. It could be the highlight of our day or give us feedback we never knew we needed.

For more traumatic experiences however, a better way to go about it is first to talk about it with someone, inform a friend or counselor. Get the necessary help you need for emotional support first. Ask for professional help if needed and seek places that you would feel safe. People who you know can help or understand you.

There are of course many more things to keep in mind of. Life is just that interesting a book to live.

Chapter by chapter, we turn the page to each moment we get to have. Life is just that beautiful to savor its magnificence morsel by morsel.

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What are your own personal takes on life ? Any wisdom to pass on ? Do share in the comments.

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