5 Ways to Emotionally Simplify Your Life

Tired of the emotional strain on life? Having to deal with the stresses of facing intense feelings and emotions in relationships, friendships and work related drama can take a toll on you. We could get consumed and overwhelmed and not knowing how to deal with it in a way that would be beneficial to our well being. For us more highly sensitive individuals, it’s a cry fest when it gets to the point of a total emotional meltdown and we are left feeling helpless and lonely and sick to our stomachs.

It’s tough to exclude certain emotions and time it to a specific situation because we feel when we want to feel and it happens quite naturally. The secret is to be able to manage our emotion and balance out its intensity especially when experiencing something that demands our emotional attention.

Here’s how you can emotionally simplify your life.

1. Leave out emotion first when dealing with challenging complications

image: Kevin Laminto

Ok what in the World does that even mean right ?

When facing difficult situations and confrontations, do your best to leave the emotion part out first so that you can come to an immediate resolve or conclusion. To get clear on what the lesson is and get some form of closure.

I know it’s easier said than done but I assure you that when needing to find a way out of this confusion and frustration ~ patience, resilience and a good head on is what you critically need to get through this tensed moment. It might be a moment where you’re being addressed and highlighted for a mistake, a misunderstanding or it could be feedback for something that you’re unaware of.

Look at what the takeaway is if it’s that sort of confrontation. And if you’re going through an emotional break up, find the root source of what is causing this break. Speak like an adult that is civil and compassionate and as someone who is truly empathetic and I hate to use the word but yes~ progressive. In the sense that you are constantly improving your self by way of mindset, school of thought and wanting to work on your flaws and find out what the relationship lacks. In all, have the intention to improve the way of life for yourself and for your partner instead of finding blame.

When speaking with blame as the language style, emotions will rise and the clarity of the matter will diminish and not be resolved peacefully.

Having said that, this doesn’t mean that you don’t have a right to scream out, cry or be angry and upset. Oh please do. It’s a release that our mind and body need. Just know that when it’s time for the grind (making big decisions and finding solutions), leave out the emotion part first so that your decisions can be practically made and decisions will be made with good intention. We’re not going for rash decisions of anger here.

2. Be Intentional when Giving without needing Recognition

image: Element5 Digital

When you expect to get something out of something you did, like recognition or reciprocation, you will indeed be disappointed. That is a lost and wasted pursuit that will bring no returns to your hard work. The time consuming and energy exhausting efforts you’ve made will not even be given a day in the sun.

When you put so much pressure on yourself for wanting to be appreciated and recognised for your “goody acts”, you run the risk of being disappointed beyond your expectations. This will then make you feel lonely, disregarded and invisible.

Find your tribe (people who vibe at your frequency), by giving whole heartedly because you want to and because you can. Not because you want people to give you recognition or reciprocate the same way. Putting a knife to someone’s conscience isn’t going to do anybody any good. Especially you. You’ll end up stressed and depressed that you’ve gone unrecognized and unappreciated. Don’t force it upon others. It’s their right too on how to feel and act. The harder you try, the more people deliberately push you away or avoid you in total.

3. Give the Benefit of the Doubt

” When you ASSUME, you make an ASS out of U and Me”. I am certain you’ve heard that before, right. The typical saying you heard your English teacher say to you every time you had that “he said she said” conversation.

Well how do we apply it here then? How do we apply positive assumption (which is another way of saying ” give the benefit of the doubt”) in our daily life?

Whenever someone you know acts a certain way or not act a certain way that you expect, leave out negative assumption as the first instance of how you perceive on what’s going on.

Giving someone the benefit of the doubt will ease you into not overthinking the situation at hand and make you worrisome. The judgement you place on others and yourself can be very stressful emotionally and take a toll on your sleep and normal way of life.

Worry and assuming the worst contributes only to your sleepless nights and the destruction of your self conscience. Especially if you’re an extremely critical person who loves over analysing things.

Give people the benefit of YOUR doubt. Assume good intentions behind what they do first until proven guilty. In NLP ( neuro linguistic programming ) presuppositions, every behaviour “good or bad” has a positive intention (in their heads).

So keep this in mind whenever you face someone who you’re doubtful about. Like when they don’t reply to messages ( they blue tick you ), when they don’t return a call or follow through with their promises to you or plans. When you give the benefit of the doubt, you benefit from the calming of the mind and the pure submission to the surrender of “what will be will be” as how the Universe paves it.

If it doesn’t work out, it’s ok. NO love lost. NO emotional stressing. Just a point to note that you are allowed to be firm and do recognize that there are some people and problems that are just not worth your time.

The “Give the benefit of the doubt” method works by not stressing on your conscience and understanding how to read people, you get back clarity and peace.

image: Muhammad Ruqiyaddin

4. Ear on Others and Finger on your Lips

Yes, we’re talking about being quiet. Silence your mind to the noise that is the complications of your inner World. By simplifying your involvement in a debate or intense discussion, you prevent the riling up of complicated and negative emotions.

Your mind is filled over to the brim with wanting to say something and desperate to be heard instead of listening. And even when you’re quiet, you don’t actually pay attention to the person who’s speaking and you get lost in your own limbo of self talk. Sometimes it’s better to just be the listener in most situations. Some battles can also be won by being more attentive in listening.

When you LISTEN first rather than respond first, you get to practice showing respect to the other person. This display of mutual respect might earn you quality time on the speaking pedestal. Which means that the other person will be more willing to listen to your reasoning and show you the same respect as you’ve given them.


5. Don’t feel guilty or apologize for other people’s bad behavior

tenor

I love studying the minds of people or friends who feel insulted or hurt by others, not knowing that it resulted from their very own bad behavior. It’s also astonishing to watch how they react to it and lash back at others, thinking that they deserve to be apologized to.

We have friends who through years of getting to know them, we’ve learned that they’re toxic mindset and embarrassing behaviors shout desperation, personal issues and trauma.

This clearly is a scream for help but at this moment, you are not able to take on another person’s issues while needing to manage your own. So recognise two things.

  1. Hurt people hurt people and they don’t know any other style of language that doesn’t reflect who they truly are. Hurt. Be cautious when dealing with people like this and at the same time, don’t pay too much attention to their toxicity. By getting affected, you level up the pollution they’re spitting out. Sometimes ignorance is truly bliss.
  2. Show empathy whilst not giving in to their fancies. Though we should exercise a more compassionate listening ear, at the same time we need to be aware to not give in to the dark forces, “so to speak”. Find the balance between being empathetic and firm. Don’t apologise for their bad behaviors. If they’re offended by you by something you said or did and you know that it was caused by their own bad behaviours, don’t feel responsible for their perception of their experience. Even though other bystanders might perceive you as unbecoming (cause you didn’t apologise for what seemed like upsetting someone), you don’t have to explain yourself until you’re questioned about it. So it’s ok. The other person’s bad behaviour will eventually come out in its most vibrant colors and people will eventually find out without you needing to prove anything.

While you think that these people need desperate help, you can’t bring water to a horse. The horse has to be thirsty and desperate enough to search for water. If they don’t feel that there’s anything wrong with their vicious and toxic reality then there’s no way to make them see a different one. No matter how good a friend you try to be.

So instead of worrying about the mistake of others, why not focus on the more important issue here, your own peace of mind.

The point is, don’t feel bad for other people’s own bad behaviors. They’re entitled to their feelings but not necessarily an apology that they do not deserve. Don’t let them or society guilt you into thinking that you’re the bad guy. Keep your intention good always and trust in the process of the Universe.


image: Freestocks

As we live our lives, emotions run high especially when we have to deal with other people. Certain major events might happen and we get so involved because we have to or we unfortunately become a collateral.

Even in developing personal growth, it takes a lot of energy and emotions on the daily to polish our thoughts and behaviors. As we get feedback and criticism about ourselves, our behaviors and decisions, we can’t help but feel drained mentally and emotionally.

So I hope that somehow you can find the energy and the strength to look at issues or experiences as what it is. Carefully select when to express your emotions and detach yourself from other emotional responsibilities. I hope that these tips might help you live a more manageable and simpler lifestyle when dealing with your emotions.

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